Anyway, I had asked Bethany if I was gonna meet any guys that I was gonna date when I went out the other night. She said yes. Okay, let me tell you all I asked, then Ill tell you what transpired. Is me and KK going to Rai Nightclub? Yes. Will I have fun? Yes. Will I meet any cute boys? Yes. Any that I'll really like? Yes.
I went on to ask if the races. White, black, hispanic, asian. I got a yes for all but white.
Will I date any of these guys? Yes
Exchange numbers? Yes
So a that point I'm really excited. Me and KK go to Rai (empty) we leave. BluMartin (latin night) f-that, we left. Downtown.. all the clubs charged admission. We walk all over he place. We only had like an hour left so we didn't want to pay. So we continue to walk around and then we see this place I always wanted to try. I go to the doorman and after looking at my I.D. just let me in, and that was it. Guess it was ladies night.
While there I meet this guy named Dre. He's really cute.But before that we were talking to these hispanic guys. Dre was also with his asian friend who we met. So I guess Bethany was right. Me and him have been texting since then. He seems pretty cool. We'll see where this goes.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
my first pendulum
Who is Rose? She kept popping up in my dreams and I felt like I was being told something important. But I dont know what.
7:09pm
Went to a metaphysics store and bought my first pendulum. The place is very small and nice. The owner Bev is a very kind old lady, who seems to know everything to me. Anyway, I go in and look around and find the pendulums. I pick the all up and ask the the yes or no question and if it's for me or not. Out of like 10, only 2 said yes. They were both brown. One a different crystal than the other obviously. I put them both in my hand a few times and asked them to show me a sign and each time the lighter one seemed to shake. Anyway, Bev came over after awhile and she showed me what I may have been doing wrong and the proper way to ask and to put the pendulum to my heart and to ask my spirit guides if this was the one for me and to let it go and see what it says...it seemed like an emphatic yes to me.
Anyway after that I picked a pouch for it and asked her if she had any books on Reiki. she said she did and she instructed me on asking the pendulum and my spirit guides for guidance. so I did. It said no for al the books she pointed out at me. So I asked her/it, was the book thats for me in this shop. it said yes. So I was at a loss bc I couldnt find it. I went through all the Reiki books. So I kept browsing the book titles and a big blue one caught my eye. it was called, "Hands of Light: a Guide to Healing through the Human Energy Field." by Barbara Ann Brennan. And just looking at it I knew it was pricey. So I look through it and realized it was Reiki also, and I asked the pendulum if that was the book for me. she said yes. I asked if it was essential I get this book? Yes. "Will this book be necessary for me to become a better healer?" Yes. And I asked, can i afford this book. Yes. I turned it around and looked at the price. It said $37.00. I only had $35 on both debit cards and one was already being used for the pendulum and pouch. So I was like.. I can't afford this! The pendulum was wrong? so I started looking through the book and saw how thorough it was and realized I'd learn a ton from it. So I just so happened to flip it over again and saw the back and saw that it said U.S. $30.00 /CAN $37.00. So i could afford it. I was like...wow. pendulum.. you're amazing. so I looked around some more. Listened to music. Asked her (pendulum) more questions. I'm gonna make a list of questions to ask my pendulum. Now I'm home and ready to try the Unity Church with my cousin.
7:09pm
Went to a metaphysics store and bought my first pendulum. The place is very small and nice. The owner Bev is a very kind old lady, who seems to know everything to me. Anyway, I go in and look around and find the pendulums. I pick the all up and ask the the yes or no question and if it's for me or not. Out of like 10, only 2 said yes. They were both brown. One a different crystal than the other obviously. I put them both in my hand a few times and asked them to show me a sign and each time the lighter one seemed to shake. Anyway, Bev came over after awhile and she showed me what I may have been doing wrong and the proper way to ask and to put the pendulum to my heart and to ask my spirit guides if this was the one for me and to let it go and see what it says...it seemed like an emphatic yes to me.
Anyway after that I picked a pouch for it and asked her if she had any books on Reiki. she said she did and she instructed me on asking the pendulum and my spirit guides for guidance. so I did. It said no for al the books she pointed out at me. So I asked her/it, was the book thats for me in this shop. it said yes. So I was at a loss bc I couldnt find it. I went through all the Reiki books. So I kept browsing the book titles and a big blue one caught my eye. it was called, "Hands of Light: a Guide to Healing through the Human Energy Field." by Barbara Ann Brennan. And just looking at it I knew it was pricey. So I look through it and realized it was Reiki also, and I asked the pendulum if that was the book for me. she said yes. I asked if it was essential I get this book? Yes. "Will this book be necessary for me to become a better healer?" Yes. And I asked, can i afford this book. Yes. I turned it around and looked at the price. It said $37.00. I only had $35 on both debit cards and one was already being used for the pendulum and pouch. So I was like.. I can't afford this! The pendulum was wrong? so I started looking through the book and saw how thorough it was and realized I'd learn a ton from it. So I just so happened to flip it over again and saw the back and saw that it said U.S. $30.00 /CAN $37.00. So i could afford it. I was like...wow. pendulum.. you're amazing. so I looked around some more. Listened to music. Asked her (pendulum) more questions. I'm gonna make a list of questions to ask my pendulum. Now I'm home and ready to try the Unity Church with my cousin.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
second and last reiki day
Just finished my first Reiki meditation on my own. It was intense and very spiritual. I felt like I connected more with my spirit guides. I asked for my crown to be completely open. They/he asked if I was sure and I said yes. He told me what to do while doing my meditations. My body wasn't mine atm. I tried to move at one point but couldn't. I felt when I was given energy. My fingers were being moved for me. It was very special and unreal, but completely real. At one point I felt my breathes getting smaller. Until I was almost to the point of not breathing. Thats a really good thing. But I was conscious of it and started to panic. He told me I wasn't ready and I said I was. But my breathes slowly was brought back to normal. When we were done I was released. I feel like this is a good start. Though I am still feeling somewhat lost as to where to go now. Until I'm able to get my pendulum I think I'll stick to getting better on my meditations and self healing. Also, I have to tell you about what happened today! So I told you last night about Reiki and my chakra in my throat being blocked right? well today we worked with pendulums, which is so crazy to me. It actually worked. You have to a ask it to say yes or "show me yes." then "show me no." and then it moves with each question. then you ask it "are you for me?" and it moves to tell you either yes or no. The frst one I wanted wasn't for me. The second one I chose was. then we asked the pendulum to show us or tell us about the different levels in our chakras and this was to see how open that level of chakra was or how blocked it was. Well I did my root chakra, which was fine. The sacral -fine. Solar plexus- fine. Heart..seemed a little weak to me. Throat...it. Barely. Moved! I was floored! Then Monica looks at me and tells me we need to work on your throat chakra. But i mean.. that dream basically told me that my throat chakra was blocked and it told me why and then I go and do the pendulum and it confirmed it. And there was again a lot of talk about forgiveness. I was like OKAY spirit guides! I get it! Lol.
I got the Peace Offering card, I got the dream. I got the pendulum I got Monica constantly speaking of forgiveness and I'm like ALRIGHT already! Lol. also Monica was telling us about these fairies and gnomes she seen and we're all like o_O. But crazy thing is I believed her! Everything just seems to be right. I'm at peace. I'll be getting my pendulum Wednesday when I'm off. Can't wait! also my third eye was open and so was my crown. But I'm literally begging for it to be more open for me to get more info. Not so much my third eye though, lol. That will come in time.
I got the Peace Offering card, I got the dream. I got the pendulum I got Monica constantly speaking of forgiveness and I'm like ALRIGHT already! Lol. also Monica was telling us about these fairies and gnomes she seen and we're all like o_O. But crazy thing is I believed her! Everything just seems to be right. I'm at peace. I'll be getting my pendulum Wednesday when I'm off. Can't wait! also my third eye was open and so was my crown. But I'm literally begging for it to be more open for me to get more info. Not so much my third eye though, lol. That will come in time.
continuation of first reiki night
Just woke up from another dream that had to do with Reiki. Before I went to sleep I was nervous about spirits, now that our third eye is more open. I went to bed and slept again pretty quickly. And I had a lot of dreams that were dark. Just me being in a dark place. Also of me having the throat and chest chakra blocked. Mostly my throat. And I kept trying to do Chu Ku Rei on it. I kept trying to tell C (my sister) that I didn't mean what I said the way she thought. When I said she was ugly. In my dream I had said t again and it wounded her. I kept trying to go after her to t ell her but the words couldn't come out so I was walking into empty rooms that she ha been in but just left. And when I finally found her my throat chakra was closed and she kept leaving in disgust and anger before I had the chance to say something. I kept trying to speak but no words would come. But I desperately wanted it to come. So I kept following and doing Chu Ku Rei and Reiki on my throat and removing the blockage on my throat chakra and little by little I got it out. "That's not what I meant. I'm sorry, my sister."
Someone is really trying to tell me something. Especially with this dream and the forgiveness card I pulled yesterday. And I've just woken and right now my throat is still sore.
Oh! also, I was in a lot of darkness and I kept trying to move to another part of something and it was always a struggle. Like I was trying to walk in quick sand.
Someone is really trying to tell me something. Especially with this dream and the forgiveness card I pulled yesterday. And I've just woken and right now my throat is still sore.
Oh! also, I was in a lot of darkness and I kept trying to move to another part of something and it was always a struggle. Like I was trying to walk in quick sand.
first post
my first ever spiritual writing that's being copied from my journal. this is the beginning of it all.
Today was...well yesterday was my first day in Reiki Level 1 class. We learned a lot, but I feel like I didn't learn anything at all. Idk. Let me start by saying I feel that me going to Monica and learning reiki was a very natural process. Once I began looking into healing I found the info and Monica very quickly. I am scheduled to work every weekend but the weekend the Reiki classes take place and nothing feels odd or forced at all. I feel like this is where I'm supposed to be now. Well in the class we got a lot of info and Monica talked a lot and I felt like i lucked out by getting her. she seems very experienced and knowledgeable. But at the end of the day I was wondering what I was supposed to do with the info. How was I supposed to apply it. She put us in this separate room. It was very dim and soothing. She talked a lot about Reiki and its principles and what we can o with it and her and her background and how Reiki has helped her. We meditated for a bit.
Later on she did the attunment where she said she's opening up our crown and we were now able to receive the information from God and the energy around us. And it is now imprinted on us and Reiki will be with us forver. It was two other women, who names idr and she had us ling down on a mat and she told us to meditate. I laid here attempting to meditate. And it was a very weird feeling. I kind of felt like I was out of my body a bit. I've felt that all today. which I don't think is good bc that means there's something wrong with my red (root) chakra. My spirit and body isn't connected. Anyway I felt weird vibrations I think you can call it. Or electricity. energy. It made me feel odd. And I started to think of this Viet restaurant I saw the other day while walking in the downtown area named "Vinh's Vietnamese Restaurant" that only struck me, or caught my attention bc Vinh is/was the name of this guy I had a crush on. And he's Viet. Anyway that drug me into this weird dream of him and me in a black car in the darkness. I kept trying to fight this dream, but it was like it was determined to come. I felt like my spirit was literally being pulled into this weird dream. And it was nothing really. Just me and him and complete darkness. And a car. I felt we were on a road. There was a beam of light somewhere . We weren't in the car tho. We were "together" like a couple. It was just so odd. Bc I wasn't asleep. But I felt like I was. And then Monica came and brought me out of it by touching me. I literally gasped.
She brought me to the chair and we did the attunement. I thought I was the first one, but apparently I was the last. I guess I didn't realize she did the other two. anyway, towards the end she kept talking about what we should focus on and what we shouldn't do and drinking and partying was on the don't list. Now I had made plans with KK (good female friend) to go out and I was really looking forward to it. So I was like "Pssh! Sry Reiki teacher, I'm going." (in my head) and I kept trying to rationalize it thinking that dancing brings me peace and a sense of unity and connects my body and spirit to the music. And she just kept mentioning it. I could tell she was talking to me but I kept trying to ignore it and tell myself to stop being paranoid. Even in the end she had us all pull cards and the one she pulled was about purification and basically not putting any toxins in your body an being in peace and quiet for the time being. And she kind of looked at me and said these cards are for everyone. The one I pulled was "Peace Offering" and the White Buffalo Woman. It was about forgiveness and forgiving others for any past differences. And I knew it was talking about my fight with my sister (C.) Another girl pulled out an Energy Healer card and its about being more spiritual and helping yourself and others thru energy. The other girl, I forgot what card it was (I was still having an inner conflict about whether I should go out or not. Afterward we all held hands and prayed. And Monica turned to me and goes. "Do you plan on partying tonight?" and ...I'm not a liar so I pause and go "Yeah," sheepishly. And everyone kind of laughed and I go "How do you know?" She goesinto a story about her third eye and knowing things.
Anyway, fast forward. I leave and I'm driving home trying to remember things I learned and feel a connection and I can't. I feel like everyone felt a connection but me. I feel like nothing differen has happened and considered asking her if she's sure my crown is open and can she try it again. smh. I'm at home eating Subway and going over the Reiki notebook. I begin to feel really exhausted. Not the -itis type of exhausted. But a "omg. I've worked really hard tiring work" type tired. I finalized plans on going out, I feed y dog and put her in the garage and lay down bc I begin to start to feel weird. I'm sleeping and drift off right away. Now my head is swimming and it hurts. My stomach hurts. My back. I'm having these weird dreams about Reiki that I can't remember once I wake up. But I know most of the dream took place in the room we were in for the session. Monica was there and she was laughing at me bc I was sick. And I mean I was feeling awful. Her eyes were red. she seemed evil to me somehow. I kept thinking in my dream, "What has this lady done to me?" I wake up after what felt like 3hrs and it turned out to have b en less than half an hour.
I go back to sleep and the same thing ensued. I could've sworn I was right in Monica's little room. She talked earlier about spirits being in more than one place at once while sleeping. Maybe..ik.. but anyway I woke up again after an hour and decide to let KK know how I was feeling. I was going to go anyway bc I said I would and I remembered Monica saying that sometimes there'd be an interference in what you planned on doing and a lot of times ppl take it as a sign and give up but you shouldn't do that and find a way. I decided to use that and go anyway. But I msg'd Monica and told her how I was feeling and she called back and we talked. She said that it's normal to feel bad and that maybe its my spirit guides stopping me from going bc I'm not supposed to go. She said what she said earlier about interference was moreso doing Reiki on ppl and things interfering. Not partying. So I listened and decided not to go. I remember thinking earlier "If God didn't want me to go, something would happen that would stop me." There, we had it. I wasn't supposed to go. I've received many signs that day. also I tried doing some reiki on myself on my stomach, head and back pain. And it worked! The pain stopped! Not sure if it was mental or what bc I had just glanced over some stuff in the back of the book. we're learning t tomorrow. anyway, now I'm feeling that the Reiki did do something and maybe the attunment worked after all.
Today was...well yesterday was my first day in Reiki Level 1 class. We learned a lot, but I feel like I didn't learn anything at all. Idk. Let me start by saying I feel that me going to Monica and learning reiki was a very natural process. Once I began looking into healing I found the info and Monica very quickly. I am scheduled to work every weekend but the weekend the Reiki classes take place and nothing feels odd or forced at all. I feel like this is where I'm supposed to be now. Well in the class we got a lot of info and Monica talked a lot and I felt like i lucked out by getting her. she seems very experienced and knowledgeable. But at the end of the day I was wondering what I was supposed to do with the info. How was I supposed to apply it. She put us in this separate room. It was very dim and soothing. She talked a lot about Reiki and its principles and what we can o with it and her and her background and how Reiki has helped her. We meditated for a bit.
Later on she did the attunment where she said she's opening up our crown and we were now able to receive the information from God and the energy around us. And it is now imprinted on us and Reiki will be with us forver. It was two other women, who names idr and she had us ling down on a mat and she told us to meditate. I laid here attempting to meditate. And it was a very weird feeling. I kind of felt like I was out of my body a bit. I've felt that all today. which I don't think is good bc that means there's something wrong with my red (root) chakra. My spirit and body isn't connected. Anyway I felt weird vibrations I think you can call it. Or electricity. energy. It made me feel odd. And I started to think of this Viet restaurant I saw the other day while walking in the downtown area named "Vinh's Vietnamese Restaurant" that only struck me, or caught my attention bc Vinh is/was the name of this guy I had a crush on. And he's Viet. Anyway that drug me into this weird dream of him and me in a black car in the darkness. I kept trying to fight this dream, but it was like it was determined to come. I felt like my spirit was literally being pulled into this weird dream. And it was nothing really. Just me and him and complete darkness. And a car. I felt we were on a road. There was a beam of light somewhere . We weren't in the car tho. We were "together" like a couple. It was just so odd. Bc I wasn't asleep. But I felt like I was. And then Monica came and brought me out of it by touching me. I literally gasped.
She brought me to the chair and we did the attunement. I thought I was the first one, but apparently I was the last. I guess I didn't realize she did the other two. anyway, towards the end she kept talking about what we should focus on and what we shouldn't do and drinking and partying was on the don't list. Now I had made plans with KK (good female friend) to go out and I was really looking forward to it. So I was like "Pssh! Sry Reiki teacher, I'm going." (in my head) and I kept trying to rationalize it thinking that dancing brings me peace and a sense of unity and connects my body and spirit to the music. And she just kept mentioning it. I could tell she was talking to me but I kept trying to ignore it and tell myself to stop being paranoid. Even in the end she had us all pull cards and the one she pulled was about purification and basically not putting any toxins in your body an being in peace and quiet for the time being. And she kind of looked at me and said these cards are for everyone. The one I pulled was "Peace Offering" and the White Buffalo Woman. It was about forgiveness and forgiving others for any past differences. And I knew it was talking about my fight with my sister (C.) Another girl pulled out an Energy Healer card and its about being more spiritual and helping yourself and others thru energy. The other girl, I forgot what card it was (I was still having an inner conflict about whether I should go out or not. Afterward we all held hands and prayed. And Monica turned to me and goes. "Do you plan on partying tonight?" and ...I'm not a liar so I pause and go "Yeah," sheepishly. And everyone kind of laughed and I go "How do you know?" She goesinto a story about her third eye and knowing things.
Anyway, fast forward. I leave and I'm driving home trying to remember things I learned and feel a connection and I can't. I feel like everyone felt a connection but me. I feel like nothing differen has happened and considered asking her if she's sure my crown is open and can she try it again. smh. I'm at home eating Subway and going over the Reiki notebook. I begin to feel really exhausted. Not the -itis type of exhausted. But a "omg. I've worked really hard tiring work" type tired. I finalized plans on going out, I feed y dog and put her in the garage and lay down bc I begin to start to feel weird. I'm sleeping and drift off right away. Now my head is swimming and it hurts. My stomach hurts. My back. I'm having these weird dreams about Reiki that I can't remember once I wake up. But I know most of the dream took place in the room we were in for the session. Monica was there and she was laughing at me bc I was sick. And I mean I was feeling awful. Her eyes were red. she seemed evil to me somehow. I kept thinking in my dream, "What has this lady done to me?" I wake up after what felt like 3hrs and it turned out to have b en less than half an hour.
I go back to sleep and the same thing ensued. I could've sworn I was right in Monica's little room. She talked earlier about spirits being in more than one place at once while sleeping. Maybe..ik.. but anyway I woke up again after an hour and decide to let KK know how I was feeling. I was going to go anyway bc I said I would and I remembered Monica saying that sometimes there'd be an interference in what you planned on doing and a lot of times ppl take it as a sign and give up but you shouldn't do that and find a way. I decided to use that and go anyway. But I msg'd Monica and told her how I was feeling and she called back and we talked. She said that it's normal to feel bad and that maybe its my spirit guides stopping me from going bc I'm not supposed to go. She said what she said earlier about interference was moreso doing Reiki on ppl and things interfering. Not partying. So I listened and decided not to go. I remember thinking earlier "If God didn't want me to go, something would happen that would stop me." There, we had it. I wasn't supposed to go. I've received many signs that day. also I tried doing some reiki on myself on my stomach, head and back pain. And it worked! The pain stopped! Not sure if it was mental or what bc I had just glanced over some stuff in the back of the book. we're learning t tomorrow. anyway, now I'm feeling that the Reiki did do something and maybe the attunment worked after all.
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